It has come to our attention that a book has been published which goes
against Torah values.
In the first volume of this book, it claims that Avrohom Ovinu engaged
in military action. Chas Ve'Sholom!
Furthermore, it claims that Yaakov Ovinu kissed his wife before marrying
her. Woe to the eye that reads this!
In addition, it claims, r"l, that many of our holy ancestors worked
for a living! This is absolute apikorsus as everyone knows that it is a
chiyuv to be in kollel forever, and it is impossible that our ancestors,
compared to whom we are but donkeys, to have done any differently.
A later volume even has the audacity to suggest that the greatest
Odom Godol in history, Moshe Rabbeinu, once acted inappropriately!
Choliloh to say such things!
Furthermore, the second and fourth volumes include lengthy quotations
from goyishe ovdei avodah zarah, whose words we have no need to hear.
To make matter even worse, this book goes into lengthy descriptions about
the maalos of Eretz Yisroel and various mitzvos bein odom lechavero,
while barely mentioning the importance of limud Torah liShmoh.
This set of five volumes is also very popular amongst the goyim, which
itself is proof that this book is treife.
Needless to say, this book contains no haskamos whatsoever.
Anyone who is a yiras Shomayim will purge this kefirah from their botei
midrashim immediately.
Signed for the honor of Torah,
By those who write in the names of the Gedolim.
Chag Purim Sameach!
To steal a line from my husband: If you can read this, it's not sameach enough!
4 comments:
i cant read
drnkl
break-fast 8t my plac
lots of cute girls
guys, ttoo
ssteg nand labvrav
and my parents'
i hung my first mezuzo;
beef
and drnk
drunl
drunk
frecnh fries
vegetables form nuqotw
adn alcohol|
LOTS A:L)OCOHOL@!!@@@
hehe.. HAPPY PURIM!
I should probably note that I did not compose this. It was an anonymous e-mail forward. (I'm not actually very good at satire.) Usually, I try to cite my sources, but in this case I thought it would interfere with the humor.
And on the other hand, I did compose the comment in this thread. And no, I did not intentionally put effort into making myself sound intoxicated. I was desperately trying to make some sense, and this was my best effort. It was about 1:00 AM on Purim night, and I was pretty shitfaced. (Of course, when I re-read it after Purim, I found it pretty funny.)
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